For caregivers wondering why they should read books
(Skip this post if you don’t need to be convinced to read—if you already love reading, go ahead and grab that book you’ve been wanting to dive into!)
I was delighted to set up the Book Recommendation Section on my blog because there are so many great books that have brought me pleasure, joy, and personal growth. However, in today’s world, where we have access to a wealth of information through YouTube, podcasts, and more, some people might wonder if it’s really necessary to read books.
There are countless benefits to reading books, but since this blog focuses on parenting, I want to highlight the significance of reading for those raising and caring for children.
(When I say “reading the book,” I also mean “listening to the audiobook.” For busy parents, audiobooks can be a great option, as they can be enjoyed while driving or doing house chores.)
1. Seeing the Unseen
One of the most important reasons to read is that books help us see things that aren’t immediately visible.
We often engage in habits we know aren’t good for us because we don’t see the consequences right away. For example, eating junk food, mindlessly scrolling through social media for hours, or staying up late watching TV—these are things we might do because the immediate consequences aren’t visible, leading us to think, “What’s the harm just this once?”
The same goes for beneficial habits we might neglect. We know exercising is good for us, but we might skip it, thinking, “Missing one day won’t hurt.” Similarly, we might decide to read regularly for self-improvement or start learning a new language but then procrastinate because the benefits aren’t immediate.
However, when we do see results, we tend to prioritize these actions more. For example, seeing concerning health test results might motivate us to make healthier choices, or an impending deadline might push us to work more efficiently.
When it comes to parenting, many decisions and actions we take don’t show results right away, making it easy to overlook their importance. If your child eats junk food once or misses a good night’s sleep, nothing drastic might happen immediately. But if these become recurring decisions, they can have a long-term impact.
Books allow us to see the unseen results of our actions, helping us understand the long-term consequences of things like diet, screen time, and daily routines through evidence-based research. This understanding can lead to more mindful parenting choices.
For example, understanding the true value of sleep and its impact on our bodies can change how we approach bedtime routines. I listened to the audiobook “Why We Sleep” by Matthew Walker, and it took me nearly 19 hours to finish this 14-hour book because I kept rewinding to revisit important points. This book made me realize just how crucial sleep is, and it changed my habits significantly.
Listening to this book felt like it was constantly asking me, “Are you still not going to sleep properly? Are you still going to look at your phone before bed? Are you still going to work with little sleep?” (The author never wrote in that tone, of course.) Although I knew the importance of sleep in theory, I somewhat considered working with little sleep as a measure of my productivity. But listening to the book showed me how wrong I had been.
Through this book, I learned what happens to our bodies when we don’t get enough sleep. After learning this, I became more committed to ensuring that our family gets enough sleep. I adjusted our schedules to help all of my family members, not just my child, get the sleep we need.
Books help us foresee and believe in the results of actions that aren’t immediately apparent. They provide evidence-based research on things like diet, screen time, and how we spend our time, helping us understand long-term outcomes even if they aren’t visible right now.
2. Deep Reflection and Long-term Thinking, Leading to Personal Growth and Confidence
Books encourage deep reflection and long-term thinking. Unlike short videos or blog posts, books require a significant time investment, allowing for thorough contemplation of the subject matter. I see the time spent reading or listening to a book as a deep conversation with the author, who has already carefully researched and organized the content. This process helps me delve deeply into the topic, fostering a profound understanding.
Furthermore, reading a variety of books helps build a well-rounded perspective and boosts confidence in our parenting choices. While videos and blogs can provide useful information, the immersive experience of reading a book offers more substantial personal growth. It’s not about the number of books you read, but the depth of understanding and integration of ideas that truly matters.
This depth of thought helps solidify parenting principles and prevents you from being easily swayed by fleeting trends or advice. Without a firm belief in your parenting philosophy, it can lead to anxiety. However, when you have confidence in your approach as a result of thoughtful consideration and reflection, parenting becomes more enjoyable. Spending time studying and reflecting deeply through books will help you build this confidence and enhance your parenting journey.
3. Communicating Your Parenting Values to Others More Effectively
If you’re raising children with a partner or family members, it’s crucial to be on the same page about your parenting approach. For example, if you want to raise your child to respect others and not judge people based on appearances, it can be challenging if your family members openly make judgments about others’ looks or disparage different cultures in front of your child.
Similarly, if you hope your child will grow into someone who is mindful and able to manage their emotions rather than reacting impulsively, it can be difficult if your family members frequently display extreme emotional swings and yell at your child.
This can be especially challenging if you and your partner are raising your first child, as people with more experience raising children may dismiss your efforts, saying things like, “Kids will be fine no matter what.” They might insist on their way of doing things.
When my friend told me not to comfort my child whenever she cried, I was able to confidently explain my parenting philosophy by sharing insights from “The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. Similarly, when my daughter’s friend’s family visited our house and the parents pointed out that my daughter should have more toys,, I explained what I learned from “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids” by Kim John Payne, emphasizing that more toys aren’t always better.
Of course, you don’t need to change anyone else’s values. You can simply choose to distance yourself from people with different parenting values or styles. However, some people might have good intentions but are simply unaware of different (and potentially better) ways of parenting. In such cases, sharing what you’ve learned and explaining your perspective can be helpful, and they might appreciate the information.
For example, one of my daughter’s friends’ mothers used to let her child watch videos at restaurants because the child often got bored waiting for food. However, after she saw my daughter spending time with coloring, drawing, and stickers, she was amazed, saying, “Why didn’t I think about it first?” Since then, when we eat out together, we always check what activities we’ve brought along, and the kids enjoy playing together, often swapping activity books.
I often discuss the books I’ve read with those around me. These discussions help clarify my thoughts and provide useful information to others. Of course, I don’t talk about books with just anyone, but I have many book-loving friends. Conversations with them often lead to book recommendations and insightful exchanges. My friends also recommend books to me, and reading their suggestions makes me feel like I understand them better and brings us closer.
If you’re co-parenting, I encourage you to discuss books with your partner. I also talk with my husband about the books I am reading, and it helps us become a better team.
4. Refreshing Your Parenting Routine
Raising children can often feel draining due to repetitive routines. While having fun with family and friends and going on trips can be refreshing, if you’re looking for a change of pace or need a quick mental reset, I recommend reading books. I find that books—especially novels, history books, or biographies—can provide that mental shift and refreshment, offering a fun way to step into someone else’s life.
For example, when I feel tired or overwhelmed these days, I turn to Toji (Land, 토지) by Park Kyung-ni (박경리), a novel about modern Korean history. This book, which the author spent 25 years writing, was published in 1993 as a 16-volume series (my version is the 1993 edition, but a 20-volume version was republished in 2012). I’m currently on volume 13, reading it very slowly.
The novel is set during Korea’s Japanese colonial era and presents intense and challenging stories of many lives. Reading about the sorrow and hardships experienced by my grandmother’s generation can be difficult at times. However, this book has helped me better understand the previous generation and see myself as an individual within the flow of history. It allows me to view my own problems from a different perspective. Sometimes, it even inspires new, unrelated ideas. These days, Toji serves as a refuge and a source of comfort for me.
I read Toji in Korean, which gives my mind a break. Most of the books and papers I read for study and research are in English, as is most of my writing. Reading in my native Korean provides a mental respite. (If you want to learn more about the power and benefits of multilingualism, I recommend The Power of Language by Viorica Marian.)
You might wonder why not just watch movies or dramas. For me, it’s easy to get sucked into screen media and lose sleep in the process. Of course, I’ve stayed up late reading books too, but books are more flexible. You can read a bit here and there, listen to audiobooks while doing chores, or read while waiting for my child’s activities. (I always bring a book to read when I take my daughter to TaeKwonDo.) It’s great to read while being with your child too. My daughter is almost six now and can play independently quite well. Watching videos next to her would distract her, but reading a book allows me to be present with her. If she needs me, I can easily set the book aside and attend to her.
This is why I think books are the best medium for parents.
I hope I’ve given you plenty of reasons to read books.
Why do you read books? And what books have been helpful to you?
Feel free to share in the comments below! While I am so excited to share books that helped me, I can’t wait to check out your favorite books as well!
